Borders

Maybe I shouldn’t have taking it that far with us.

Stopped earlier.

Quit.

Let it be.

Distract myself with other things.

Other people.

But I don’t want to join a book club.

Or talk about what dress I’m wearing.

Or engage in another women’s co-working session.

Or stare out over Palermo Hollywood from the 7th floor with an empty glaze.

I don’t want to drink more wine or eat another steak.

I like to stand on balconies in Buenos Aires and look at the ivy climbing up the grey concrete walls.

I force fed the destruction.

Until I could almost not breathe.

Until I reached my absolute limit.

I pushed as far as I could until I learned the lesson.

Until I realised that you were just a reflection

Of everything I didn’t want to admit

Of the darkness and the light

I pushed until I wished for green instead of grey.

Until rivers and rainforest came back to my mind.