Admiration

“I admire you because you travel so much, you’ve been to so many places”, he tells me as he holds my head and looks into my eyes.

I want you to admire me too, he says and asks me if I admire him.

What is there to admire?, I think.

What do you want me to admire you for?

For your, what seems like an endless quest, for recognition? For trying to make all that money? For your absence? For your complete lack of integrity to gain what you think is success?

First time I met you I loved you for your recklessness, and I still do. For the adventure we went on and because you said what was on your mind without fear or regret.

But those days are over and now I just draw a blank when he asks me.

So I don’t say anything. There’s so much poison in the words, so much contempt behind them.